The one where I make a shocking discovery

Tue, Aug 05 2008 by Vanessa.

Well, my discovery may not shock the world in terms of novelty or true insight.  I hope that it at least gets someone to rethink their priorities.  I realized yesterday, while throwing a load of laundry into the washer, that I missed my husband.  We spend most of each day together, now that he belongs to the world of independent workers.  It apparently,  took no time at all for me to start expecting his presence near me at all times.  Personally, I like this.  I like knowing that John is nearby, even if he’s in his office and I’m in mine.  Anyway, John spent the day in training and his physical location, away from the house, made me miss him.  I thought it a little silly at first since we get to spend so much time together but then I realized when I married him, I asked John to be part of my life.  I promised to share my life with him.  This lead me to start thinking about the days when we both worked outside the house.  Driving to work, actually being at work, and driving back home takes a good 9 - 10 hours of your time each day.  We are big sleepers so that’s at least another 7-8 hours a day.  So that’s anywhere from 16 - 18 hours a day that we were physically apart or just unconscious to the world around us, including each other.  The result is 6-8 hours a day that we MIGHT spend together, however, it’s shared with running errands, paying bills, cooking (which we usually do together), cleaning house and everything else.  I realized, after having this thought, that before I left my permanent job and John left his we truly spent only a small fraction of each day together.  Is that really sharing my life with John, as I promised I would when we got married?  It certainly would not have been romantic to say,

“I Vanessa, take thee John, to be my husband and I promise to share 2-3 hours a day with you.  Maybe 4 or 5 if we’re really lucky.  Truly, I promise that when I’m not off, living the majority of my life without you, I’ll find a way to squeeze you in.”

I hear a lot of people say they could not stand to be around their spouse that much.  I feel sorry for them.  I love being with my husband.  Even if we just sit somewhere and watch people do their thing, we have so much fun.  It seems horrible to me to think that people have promised their lives to spouses that they can’t stand to spend a lot of time with.  Regardless, my discovery that I love hanging out with my husband reinforces my already firm belief that we need to move on and create a life full of experiences.  Sitting in an office, staring out the window thinking “Man it’s a nice day out.  It would be so much fun to have a picnic with the dogs.”  is not the way I want to live my life.  I want to go on that picnic WITH my husband!

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